Old Becky, as best articulated by Tina Fey in this passage of Bossypants: “I don’t hate animals and I would never hurt an animal; I just don’t actively care about them. When a coworker shows me cute pictures of her dog, I struggle to respond correctly, like an autistic person who has been taught to recognize human emotions from flash cards. In short, I am the worst.”
New Becky: One time I accidentally prayed that the puppies wouldn't get scared during a thunderstorm. I almost Instagrammed photos of myself and [dog] Robert cuddling. I sincerely "awww" when I see [some] pups. I don't go out of my way to pet them, and I have almost have no idea how to play with them (thank you Charlie dog at work for being such a gracious teacher.) But I much enjoy looking at them. I'm not ready to invest, but I dare not speak for my future self. Regardless, if a French Bulldog or teacup piglet shows up at my doorstep, I can confidently say that I would give that animal a badass name and spoil it...with water. Just kidding — I would spoil it like Paris Hilton spoiled her dog. Just kidding — it would be somewhere in the middle. In short, I would actually love it.